It’s been a while now since I’ve graduated from college. I switched majors from Mechanical Engineering to Computer Science and Engineering my 4th year thinking that it’d be an easier transition into the real world but that is yet to happen. The transition hasn’t even happened yet or at least I don’t believe it has. I’m still stuck wondering not what should I do, but what can I do with my degree. I’ve applied to numerous places and I’m left either still waiting for a response or replies of denial. It’s been quite hard these past few weeks finding motivation. I’ve picked up trying to learn HTML and CSS on my free time and have started developing android applications again but it just doesn’t feel as rewarding anymore. It probably has to do with the fact that I never see the projects through to the end because of lack of knowledge and when I do try to learn it on my own I lack self-discipline. That in itself is the main reason why I’ve been feeling kind of down lately.
I believe that I need to learn self-discipline before I can honestly continue on my projects. At first it felt nice programming again and writing code, but after a day or two or once I stumbled into something harder, I start to slack off because it I’m not showing immediate progress. With that said maybe it’s also my expectations as well that is slowly destroying my self-confidence. I now sometime waste hours pondering on what I should be doing when I know what I have to do. Reality is hard and isn’t what I thought it’d be at all, but I need to accept it before I’m able to continue progressing as a programmer and more importantly, a person.